We are currently embarking on a week involving much celebration of Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus (or MRSA as it’s more commonly known.)
The Washing Machine will find itself to benefit the most from this, whilst Blokey’s nostrils will enjoy the thrill of having a cotton bud stuck up themselves thrice-daily. Gosh, even the Shower may find itself to be more in demand.
About three weeks ago Blokey arrived home from haemoD to announce that his monthly swabs had shown positive for MRSA. Not to worry; they’d taken more swabs and were testing again. These ones came back negative. But they had to test again because they need three positive results or three negative results in succession before they can declare ‘Nay!’ or ‘Yay!’
Negative again … a 2-1 result in favour of Negative.
But, oh yes, the next swabs showed a Positive result.
2-2 … a draw.
Despite being completely flabbergasted about this positive/negative malarky, and being unable to work out where he’s got it from if he really does have MRSA (nobody else at haemoD appears to have it) the good doctors have prescribed the Seven Steps of MRSA Obliteration.
The only person who really suffers with this is Me. And Washing Machine. Blokey becomes extra clean and SuperBug free, but I have to spend the next seven days stripping and scrubbing. Clean bedding and clean pyjamas EVERYDAY, plus the clean towel and clean washcloth and clean clothes. I’ve therefore banished Blokey to the Land of Single DuVet; I refuse to struggle with King DuVet everyday so I’m having that all to my little self. Oh, he can stay in our bed, but if I’ve only got to worry about his pillowcases, the sheet and a single duvet cover then I’m happier. And it means that I get to snuggle up in our lovely cosy king-size duvet all on my tod.
Our bathroom is now the proud owner of MRSA Busting soap/shampoo, toothpaste, dusting-powder (talc?) and nostril cleaner. Blokey must remember to pay special attention to that bit between his legs. We have instructions and everything …
(if washing machine chooses this week to go bonkers i’m going to be one well mardy cow)